a gift from japan via china & lou in the big city

dear thedearreaders,

     first and formost, i'd like to apologize for apparently sending out a universal signal for new post by mistake. the ways of facebook are complicated and shrowded with mystery. lou does not want to be the cat who cried wolf. to show our sincerity,

I offer you a gift.

No, better!

  

     a super awesome super rare louthecat exclusive release of a cd that i bought(!) on ebay from china-japan,

Rabid Chords 002: VU Tribute

     it's an avante-rock japanese-american tribute to the velvet underground, lou's favorate band erer.
featuring:

Of Montreal, Jim O'Rourke, The Olivia Tremor Control, The Music Tapes, John McEntire, The Ladybug Transistor,

and a whole host of j-rock/pop bands with funny names like:
 

ズボンズ (the ZOOBOMBS),

Luminous Orange,

SmileKick,

Ahh! Folly Jet,

      and my personal favorate:

Seagull Screaming Kiss Her Kiss Her

     this is a rip of one of only 200 copys ever pressed, of a real live cd, that i bought with money (whoa... 2002 called, they want their form of media distribution back!), from japan, bought on ebay, from china, shipped on a ship, to madison, to my computer, to mp3 (320 kbps), to chicago, to me.com/loutheperson, to .zip, to a link, straight to the dear readers!

     Not that i have any qualms about sharing music, but even if you're still 'sucking hind-tit'(-patsy schiff), to the old, wack, and terminally obsolete big-media, who:


"steal bread from the bleeding mouths of the retched proletariat" (-patsy schiff, internet pirate and cryptopunk),


it's cool though! because I really think this is the only copy of this album anywhere on all the internets, and all of not in japan-china. 

do download the album,  /  don't.

(do)

     while it dl's... the story of how lou and lou bought a cd:

     lou downloaded a discography of the olivia tremor control,
and there was their track from this very album,

     "yo lou, european son. is that a velvet's cover?"
and lou was like:
     "i dont know, press play. i don't have thumbs, you do the track padding."

    I played it and it was super-duper sweet.
    I began scouring the universe for a bitorrent,
but at the end of the universe, (it's finite but unbounded), at the seedy underbelly of the internet itself, I only found one broken rapidshare.

     after five weeks of checking ebay I found it, and bought it for money[!] from a chinese fellow on ebay named

robust_virgin
 

and then i got it and it was sweet.
     the end.


     Lou recommends the tracks:
'european son' by the olivia tremor control,
'the black angel's death song' by SmileKick,
and a pleasant upbeat smily j-poppy:
'Heroin' by Chicago Bass.


where is lou? in the city with big shoulders and the winds.

     Lou is downtown at Matt's in lovely river north, chicago, il, and he is a happy kitty in the big city.
     Also, matt is totally a cat lady now. They slept together last night and matt leaves the door open because he wants lou to leave me and go and sleep with him,
and i told him that, but he's all like:
     "no, you know...  here have some costco rolls and an assortment of cheese."

     Kitty is asleep on my feet right now which are also asleep, because I've been blogging so hard all the blood in my body is in my fingers and brain. and lou is heavy. take care good fellows.

Best,
loutheperson,
louthecat.

louthecat's pseudorandom algorithmic outfit compiler & the to do list

yo.

Lou and i have furiously brainstormed, forgoing sleep and sustenance (stinky wholistic catfood), slaving like slaves at the black board.

     we have some big ideas, big homies. big plans for a big future. this is an exciting time to be a big fan of the big cat named lou. (sounds funny. big big big big...)


     our first idea was for a new computer program. it seems like it could be pretty sweet.

     more ideas followed, and after several-more-score-more productive hours, we realized just how many iconoclastic and paridigm-shifting iconoclasms, concepts, and plan-o-clasms that we had created.

     it is clear, that only a sweet-swinging to do list, of louthecat-proportions (it's big), could keep us organized and on track, focused, and... oh look a bicycle!

(organization is key, you see, lou the person is a spastic adhd-kid, and lou the cat must have narcolepsy or something, i'm telling ya.)

our new computer program,

on behalf of lou:
(he was john von neumann, so he's like pretty good at this stuff)

and myself, lou:
(former computer science student par excellence)

curriculum vitae:
- intro to computer science at new trier high school (2006) - F
- intro to programming at university of wisconsin-madison (2008) - F
     - to be repeated in the coming semester (lou says i'm a GPA-masochist)


     I'd like to introduce the new program, from the dream-team of software design...
The dopest in dope...
The newest in new...
The end-all-be-all in electronic feline fashion consultation applications...

louthecat's-pseudorandom-algorithmic-outfit-compiler.app!

The concept:
- your wardrobe is cataloged.
- the articles of clothing are sorted and numbered.

     you want to get dressed in the morning, but you're too lazy to color-coordinate?
     "oh shoot, am I an autumn or a winter?"
     "does this tech vest make me look fat or stupid?"

forget about it!
just run louthecatspseudo...app:

- a few numbers are chosen at random...
- an outfit is compiled
... and you look fabtastic!


why worry about what clothes to wear?
just let cruel cruel fate choose your outfit for you!
it's pseudo-random fashion baby, and it's all the rage!

     The project is in the planning stages right now,

(that's pseudo-code son)

     once i brush up on my l33t java skills (learn it for the first time), the app will be available for download, right here on the lou the cat blog.


     "i just love your outfit! It's got that whole, je ne sais quoi... 'I pick my clothes at [pseudo]random, yes indeed, i'm that awesome' - kind of look! You must have a fabulous fashion consultant!"
     "yes. he's a robotic cat."
     "wow, he sounds handsome..."

damn-straight he is.

      the beta testers have had promising preliminary results, just see for yourself:

     "heh heh, dressed in the dark."

     "yo, that's pretty messed up kitty-cat."

(my speedo)

 

 

absolutely fabulous!

- casual or business casual
- photo catalouge of wardrobe
- daily outfit photos can be made into a sweet timelapse youtube video

- post a particularly atrocious crime against all eyes,
  directly to: the lou the cat blog's official:

'heroic pioneers of random-fashion, official hall of random-fashion heros' 

"What a great idea!" you are right now definitely saying,
But wait there's more!

a whole gosh darn to do list more.

     The fruit of our brainstorming labor --- organized into a big to do list.
This imagination fruit basket is far too big to not be to-do-listed, and let none say otherwise.

     With such a well organized collection of fruit, the readers can see just how big the fruit is, and keep up to date on the march of fruity progress towards the unimaginable future influence and celebrity of lou the cat.

things for lou and lou

to do:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) make a to do list.   

     (off to a good start)


2) make lou the cat a celebrity. 

     - lou on lolcats.com

     - lou on catsinsinks.com

     - get lou a modeling contract

3) lou-the-cat-the-company Inc.
     - publishing:
          -lou the cat comic book.
          -lou the person's proto-autobiography: the lou story, part one.
     - software:
          - louthecat's pseudorandom algorithmic outfit compiler.app 1.0
     - clothing brand:
          - louthecat gear!
     - record label:
          - sign dj voldemort.

4) make the lou the cat blog even more the most awesome.
     - sweet links section
     - sweet download section
     - 'poll the dear readers'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this is just the beginning, my dear kit-shaped gingerbread cookie readers,

     excepting any shiny things in the corner of my vision distracting me,
or any warm piles of blankets near a window seducing lou to nap and nap hard,

i challenge dog himself to stop us.

roxy music @ lou the person in the big grapple!

dear readers!

     We, (lou the cat/person), apologize for our lengthy absence, from this, our awesome micro-principality of sweet-swingin' kittendom.

     You see, Lou and I were on a cia mission sabbatical, in columbia italy, assassinating drug lords running guns to dissidents studying texts.
     But here is a much needed update on the one and only alpha, mu, and omega, LTC!


Halloween!

     We had a swell time at holloween on state street in madison, which is the third largest street party after time square new years eve and marti gras. in 2002-2007 crowds were was teargassed.



     Our group theme was Roxy Music. I dressed as Bryan Ferry,

(the mighty boosh version)

*season 1 now on DVD!  patsy schiff's favorite show ever!

 Lou dressed as Brian Eno (he is brian eno),

 and phil mazeria was just there.

so were gary numan and david bowie.

Nobody on state street knew who I was.


Thanksgiving!

     Lou went to kick it with patsy schiff and when he wasn't cold chillin' with flavor, he spent his time posted up by the closed door of my room, protecting his domain from the sock, donald pinkus the cat, who was a perfect little angel bastard, and host.
Patsy made fudge.

     I went to New York City! My aunts and uncles and annie schiff all live in manhattain, and my grandma Ivy lives in queens. I mostly stayed with annie schiff, and I bonded with her roomate's crazy cat named Geert.

Geert the cat ^
Geert is dutch for Gerald and pronounced Chert (with that lovely gutteral chet-sound we jews can make). Awesome name for a cat.

I spent most of my days wandering around the city.

     In my midwestern way, I smiled at people on the street as I walked by. My attempts at eyecontact and smiles recieved looks of true horror as if I was a schizophrenic. The schizophrenics smiled back.
     I bought a bunch of neat stuff in small little shops i came across. First in Chelsea, I stopped in The Starting Line, and stood around shooting the shoot with three gay gentlemen about fashion, techno, and audiophile equipment. I then bought these shoes:

     Another day I walked over the brooklyn bridge and into crooklyn and found a cool urban clothing boutique on Flatbush Av. called Vinnie's Styles. The were cool cats as well, and I bought a sweet brooklyn sweatshirt, designed by Paulie-P.

(cat hair courtesy of lou)
Paulie P. said that some other cool cats from japan, came to his shop to get a shirt with that design because it's so legit. super legit!


     Oh! also on my way there I walked under the bridge and found myself in the level New York from tony hawk's pro skater 2.

I was Tron!

     Here are some other pictures from the trip:

     "oh wow you found architechtual and socio-economic juxtaposition on the lower east side... an iphone tour de force."
lou the cat was a photography critic for Photography Review for 25 years and is a bitter disillusioned sourpuss.

     In recent news, Madison had a snowday yesterday, and our ambitious drunken scholars never fail to disappoint when it comes to snow and alcohol.



     The city was divided into warring city-states/forts with flags and barricaded roads and sidewalks and rousing renditions of "can you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men..." wafting in the frigid, alcohol fragranced, breeze from hither and yon.



That's all for today dear readers, lou has retreated to his sweet fort, Valhalla 2

you will hear from us again soon!

lou's music & brad garoon is going to beat me up

     It's been a while since my last post, I have been doing mad math (math!), and lou was in stockholm by invitation of King Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden, to participate in the 109th annual: pre-nobel prize award-ceremony kegger.

     He was hanging out with master-chief, barack "peacenik" obama. after lou did his famous jimmy-flip keg-stand, barack pulled him aside and asked him to ghostwrite his nobel lecture.

     he said that the fate of all peace was in his paws. 

     lou responded, "I work at the pleasure of the president, no problem home-sliggity-slice. Did I mention that i'm pseudo-ambro bro? my boy erasmus call me 'ambrosiaster the lecture-master'. Peace is in the bag."

Music!


*first of all, lou hates the band cat-power. that's his power, he's the one with the power. all of it, none of it is for them, and he hates them.


     lou is a great lover of music. he told me that he wanted to share his pretentious taste with the dear readers, and went over to pull some vinyl out of the box for me.
     he chewed up the corners of the album covers because he is too powerful and is an anarchist and distains material possessions. He told me to tell you all to liquidate the kulaks as a class, by the way.

     I am going to point out some possible bias here in this list, because I think he's just plugging albums that he either recorded or produced. He says that he can't help it, because he's just really good. he's got 'it' you know?


     my self esteem is threatened by my larger that life kitty roomate. the wall space I had set aside for my finger paintings, hand turkeys, and macaroni cats, is increasingly overshadowed by lou's gold record plaques, various honorary doctorates, and mars-lander-related certificates.


     he says he has perfect pitch too. I told him that that was bupkis. he looked at me.
     "meow." he curled back up on the green and white afghan he was shedding on. "G#."
     I sang "looooou!... is a cat."
     "almost an F, but a quarter-tone flat."
     "oh yeah? well how about this you meddlesome varmint? 'you - are - a - ki-i-ty - cat!'"
     "C major seventh chord arpeggio, augmented fifth. flat again."

     "touche... touche, astronamicat."






     Here are 10 albums lou recommends!:


10) Some Girls - The Rolling Stones >

9) Abbey Road - The Beatles >

"here comes the lou, do-do-do-do"




8) The Velvet Underground & Nico >

"getting better at this photoshop business, eh lou?"
"not bad, you know... for a person."




7) Goodbye and Hello - Tim Buckley >

6) Journey in Satchidananda - Alice Coltrane >

     swami satchidanda, aka the illustrious panama-pat
     (on track 4, lou has a bangin' jazz-timbral solo)




5) Young, Gifted and Black - Aretha Franklin >

4) Replicas - Gary Newman and Tubeway Army >

     "lou you were in tubeway army? what did you do?"
     "I threw shapes over the robodrogynous electo beat."


     "oh."




3) Trans-Europe Express - Kraftwerk >

lou is a pure blood... i mean pure-bred, show-quality stud ragdoll cat / german electro-pop innovator.




2) Talking Heads: 77 >

(lou's in there, it's like a magic eye thing. 
 you have to look through the album cover.)


     and finally, number one...


.
.
.






1)  Good Enough for a Poke - EP  >

     The Stylish Mustaches

http://www.purevolume.com/thestylishmustaches

  

     lou the cat says that I owe him a stinky all-natural cat-treat for this shameless plug.
     especially because he was uncredited for the synth sample on the track 'Napoleon Invades Russia (1975)'.


     he says the sample is clearly from the funky synth breakdown on his 1983 detroit techno 12"-single:


'space-cat at the edge of cat-space (acid-dub mix)' 


(I prefer the the b-side 'a cat in chaos, searching for panic, feat. afrika baambaata and the soulsonic force')


     he says he's suing the styling mustaches for copyright infringement.


     "hey punk, you can't copyright no beat cat. yo lou, is you crazy, cat? what about the spirit of open-source altruism, mr. meowtallica?"
     "metallica? where did you get that preposterous hypothesis? did steve tell you that? . . . yes, I was in metallica."


     "I thought you were a radical anarchist cat, not a record company suit..."
     "it's personal... i just hate that dj voldemort."




     oh and brad garoon made fun of my photoshopping, 
so here are unflattering pictures of him as famous snorkelin' matt schiff, and then as famous patoots schiff, displaying her famous praying-mantis kung-fu pose.

"bushido."