war is hell & lou's madison castle

     I forgot to warn you about lou the cat's x-ray hypnosis vision. He can see you naked, and if you look for too long, you'll think you're a duck.

     These first photos, are of lou's last day at the noyes residence. in the following picture, lou can be seen firing a blast from his eye-laser. A tearful good-bye kiss of death, to fat marcel the cat noyes.

     This photo was taken on july 5th. While we were taking group photos, outside sailors were kissing nurses in the street, and a ticker-tape parade was taking place in downtown wilmette.

     This day, you see, marked the end of the total war, between marcel and lou the cats, for dominion over castile de la noyes. It was a hellish quagmire, with extensive geneva-convention-defenestrating biological warfare. There was napalm (pee-pee), and land-mines (poop). no couch, or expensive carpet, or socked foot was safe. the casualties are estimated to be in the 8's.

     Lou was not defeated. no sir and no ma'am. He was merely bored with the excretion chess-match which seemed at a proverbial stalemate (lou the cat actually had mate in 7), and he was also eager to escape the hostile political environment in wilmette. 

     You see, lou is actually the author salman rushdie, 

and he was hoping to dodge a few fatwā's thrown at him after publishing his most recent critically-acclaimed novel: 'the satanic verses II: kazaam!' which features a comic-book insert of a one-on-one basketball game between shaq and alla, to save the loony tunes from aliens, winner takes all.

     Joyce Carol Oats called it "the war and peace of our generation", and further asserted, "if [lou the cat] doesn't win the nobel prize, I'll eat my hat and call myself charlie"

     And so, lou the cat set off with lou the person, to lay low in his castle chateau del gato, der zorn gottes. (pictured below)

     Little is known of the origins of this arthecechual wonder. It has been suggested that it was created by druidic tribes circa 3000 bc, and that it shares structural similarities with stonehenge, the great pyramids, and studio 54.

     The suspension drawbridge has been a topic of significant research by historians. It's use of a continuous loop of string, seems to suggest the influence of some unknown undergraduate math-major who was studying graph theory.

     The most striking feature is the coat of arms which dominates the facade of the upper ramparts. it's hypnotic gaze attracted kings and emperors, and it has marked a gathering place for cat-god-worshiping dyonesian mystery cults.

     recent radio-carbon dating, and molecular analysis has suggested that it is actually made out of cardboard and masking tape, and that it was built in mid august of 2009. but it's sweet right?

     lou the cat has settled in his castle, and after some modifications(wider doors...), he is quite content.